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Joke of the day!
#76
What food do you serve if you want to completely erase a persons sex drive?







































WEDDING CAKE! 167
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#77
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#78
[attachment=0] 165 164


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#79
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#80
Hillbillly Vasectomy

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough,
as they could not afford a larger bed.


So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his
cousin didn't want to have any more children.


The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy
that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly
alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks
are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can(COORS), then hold the
can up to your ear and count to 10.'


The Alabamian said to the doctor, 'I may n ot be the smartest tool
in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to
my ear is going to help me.'


'Trust me,' said the doctor.


So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a b eer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count!


'1'


'2'


'3'


'4'


'5'


( you'll love this...)


At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and
continued counting on his other hand.


This procedure also works in Tennessee , Kentucky , Louisiana ,
Arkansas , Mississippi , Missouri , West Virginia and Washington DC 165
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#81
lmao, nice
2011 Camaro SS/RS
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#82
Nice one krh2!
2005 Electric Blue Custom Flaking Paint courtesy of Nissan.
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#83
Broccoli Casserole.

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.


This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.


The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.


It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.


The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.

This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'

Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.

She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.




Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she poos on you!' 165
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#84
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Phelps' first....



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#85
balage Wrote:[attachment=0]
Phelps' first....



191

That's hilarious!! 204 206 208
2005 Electric Blue Custom Flaking Paint courtesy of Nissan.
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#86
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#87

Bottle Bond


An old guy's car collides with a young guy's car and both are demolished. The two crawl out of the wreckage, amazed that neither of them was hurt in the accident.

The old guy says, "Look at this miracle! This must surely be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live our lives in peace for the rest of our days."

"Sure," says the young guy, convinced the old man's crazy.

"And look at this!" says the old guy, reaching back into his car. "A miracle! My car is demolished, but this bottle of 12-year-old Scotch didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink and celebrate our good fortune."

Again the young guy agrees, so the old guy opens the bottle and passes it to him. The young guy smiles and takes several huge swigs, then tries to hand it to the old guy, who, to his surprise, refuses. "Aren't you having any?" asks the young guy.

"No, thanks," replies the old guy. "I'll wait for the police."
"it does not matter who started the thread, at the end of the day i will be it's last poster...."
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#88
Mistaken Designation

Late one evening, an officer was parked outside a local pub. He noticed a man leaving the bar who was so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing. After the intoxicated man had tried his keys on five different vehicles, he managed to find his car and fall into the driver's seat.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off, flicked the indicators on, tooted the horn, and then finally switched on the lights. He remained stationery for a few more minutes as more cars left the parking lot. After what seemed like an eternity, he pulled out of the lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over, and carried out a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station; this equipment must be broken.

I doubt it, said the man, tonight I'm the designated decoy.
"it does not matter who started the thread, at the end of the day i will be it's last poster...."
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#89
Misinterpretation

A team of archeologists is excavating in Israel when they find a cave with the symbols of a woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David on the wall.

The head archeologist points to the first drawing. This indicates that these people were family oriented and held women in high esteem. he says. The donkey shows they were smart enough to use animals to till the soil. The shovel means they were able to forge tools. Even further proof of high intelligence is the fish: If famine hit the earth, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol is the Star of David, telling us they were Hebrews.

The second archeologist shakes his head. Hebrew is read from right to left, he explains. It says, ‘Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Chick!'
"it does not matter who started the thread, at the end of the day i will be it's last poster...."
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#90
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The real recycle...... 164
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#91
Fun puzzle 185

Took a few minutes to get it, but nowhere near 15..


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#92
Ken Wrote:Fun puzzle 185

Took a few minutes to get it, but nowhere near 15..

179 I must be stupid! 183
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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#93
Sandi Wrote:
Ken Wrote:Fun puzzle 185

Took a few minutes to get it, but nowhere near 15..

179 I must be stupid! 183

this may help to get you started


Take Cop and Criminal across, bring cop back
Take Cop and boy across bring Cop and Criminal back
Take Dad and boy across, bring dad back
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#94
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'......... 186
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but what animal is the dOuck? 179


















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#95
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sorry 165


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#96
balage Wrote:[attachment=0]




sorry 165

200
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[Image: 3gears.gif]06 CC 4X2 6sp Avalanche White NISMO SPORT[Image: drive.gif]
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#97
Admins: this may or may not be suitable for the site i will post anyway but feel free to remove/edit as you guys see fit. thanks

The Gift
God was just about done creating the universe and had a couple of things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee.

It's a very handy thing, God told the couple, who he found hanging around under an apple tree. I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability.

Adam jumped up and begged: Oh, give that to me! When I'm working in the garden or taming the animals, I could just let it rip. Oh please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please…

On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam wanted it so badly, she really wouldn't mind if he were the one given the ability to stand up and pee. And so it was given to Adam.

Very well, God said, the last gift goes to Eve, then.





He looked back into His bag of leftover gifts. So...what's left here? Oh, I see…multiple orgasms...
"it does not matter who started the thread, at the end of the day i will be it's last poster...."
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#98
165 Nice! 165
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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#99
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Ok I know it's not fun, cause these price are too old... 202


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actually they can be interpreted as being too low thats why you say OMG. lol
"it does not matter who started the thread, at the end of the day i will be it's last poster...."
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